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2 pages/≈550 words
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APA
Subject:
Literature & Language
Type:
Essay
Language:
English (U.S.)
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Topic:
Revise an Argumentative Research Essay
Essay Instructions:
Review the rubric feedback you received on your Touchstone 3.2 draft to enhance your writing. You will then submit a revision of your Touchstone 3.2 draft that reflects the evaluator's feedback, making all necessary changes to the idea development, organization, style, and conventions.
1. Editing and Revising
❒ Have you significantly revised the essay by adjusting areas like organization, focus, and clarity?
❒ Have you made comprehensive edits to word choice, sentence variety, and style?
❒ Have your edits and revisions addressed all the feedback provided by your evaluator?
2. Cohesion and Source Integration
❒ Is the information presented in a logical order that is easy for the reader to follow?
❒ Have you included smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs?
❒ Have you introduced your sources clearly and in a way that demonstrates their validity to the reader? Are your sources formatted correctly following APA style?
3. Conventions and Proofreading
❒ Have you double-checked for correct formatting, grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization?
❒ Have you ensured that any cited material is represented accurately and with page/paragraph numbers?
4. Reflection
❒ Have you displayed a clear understanding of the revision process?
❒ Have you answered all reflection questions including specific and concrete examples that provide thoughtful insight in all responses?
❒ Are your answers included on a separate page below the composition?
B. Reflection Questions
DIRECTIONS: Below your assignment, include answers to all of the following reflection questions.
How much time did you spend revising your draft? What revision strategies did you use, and which worked best for you? (2-3 sentences)
List three concrete revisions that you made and explain how you made them. What problem did you fix with each of these revisions? Issues may be unity, cohesion, rhetorical appeals, content, or any other areas on which you received constructive feedback. (4-5 sentences)
What did you learn about your writing process or yourself as a writer? How has your understanding of the research process changed as a result of taking this course? (2-3 sentences)
Essay Sample Content Preview:
Revision and Reflection
Your Name
Course and Section
Professor’s Name
August 3, 2024
Reflection on the Revision Process
Introduction
Editing a paper is critical as it helps improve the perspectives, the arguments to be presented, and the style of the paper. Looking back at my experience of recently working on fine-tuning the draft the second time about the ecological and economic importance of clover lawns over grass lawns, I can recognize within how many hours and minutes I managed the work, what writing strategies were taken, the particular changes that were made to the text, and what I and my learning about myself as a writer as well as about the process of research was gained. Murray (2014) shares that, apart from focusing on particular aspects of the text, revision entails concurrent attention to the general writing process, as observed by the author.
Effectiveness of Time Spent and the Revisions
I spent about 4 hours refining my work in the revisions. Some of the approaches I used in my primary revision process include reading out the paper loudly, peer review, and applying a particular method of editing. Having someone read the text allowed me to see the areas that contained unnatural constructions and to decide on the need to correct the rhetorical structures of the text. Elbow (1998) also says that receiving comments from close peers can bring helpful information concerning the clarity and the supportive arguments within the paper. The last type of approach I used was the one I found the most effective: reading aloud the given text, thus distinguishing some sequential anaphoras that are not seen when the text is read silently.
Concrete Revisions and Problems Fixed
The significant alteration focused on a more precise language of the thesis statement. Initially, the thesis could have been more precise, thus risking causing confusion among the readers regarding the essay's overall purpose. I improved it to say that clover lawns are better than grass lawns as they are environmentally friendly and cheaper to maintain. This revision served to control the coherence problem and ensure that the paper had the direction in which it was going.
Another significant change in the work was enhancing the construction of paragraph transitions. At first, I had issues connecting the successive paragraphs, so the essay's overall structure could have been better. To enhance the flow of the paper, I included more transition phrases between the sections and between the paragraphs. This made the flow of information smoother and made the two parts carrying the argument more coherent.
The third concrete revision was the extension of the part devoted to the negative impact of clover lawns. Firstly, it could have been better developed, which somewhat overshadowed the general argument of the paper. Incorporating more research and adding detailed examples to explain how 'clover lawns' in particular, help decrease the emission of greenhouse gases and enrich the soil, this part of the essay was made more robust. This revision focused on the content question; sometimes, the paper offered adequate evidence to support the assertions.
Lessons Learned
This revision process taught me that my writing gains significantly from detaching myself and looking at the paper as a reader would. It helps discover points that might be ambiguous or aspects that need to be more adequately elaborated. Furthermore, I appreciated the need to seek feedback about my work from my fellow learners, as this helped give me a new outlook. Elbow (1998) said that communication with colleagues helped people notice some things in my writing that I would not have noticed on my own.
It also enhanced my conception of how the research process is carried out. At the beginning of my work, I thought of the term 'research' as collecting information to back up the propositions I wanted to state. However, following the experience, I have acquired an appreciation of the research's expansiveness needed to create a good argument. The skills I gained from this course are the ability to properly analyze sources, properly utilize information gathered from different studies, and accurately implement this kind of research. Revising a paper makes me realize or reminds me that doing research plays a significant role in creating a holistic and convincing paper.
Conclusion/Reflection
By being able to read through my rough outlines about how clover lawns are more ecological and economical than grass lawns, reviewing my draft was very rigorous but satisfying in the end. Dedicating sufficient time to the revision process, using such methods as reading my work out loud, and consolidating peer feedback helped me most when enhancing my paper. I also made modifications regarding problems often discussed in terms of unity, cohesion, and content, and thus, my argument has become more robust. It has helped me appreciate my writing and research processes, especially the need to do an extensive search for knowledge and engage in reflective writing in sequencing final work that will meet the required standards of an institution.
References
Murray, D. M. (2014). The craft of revision (5th ed.). Wadsworth Cengage Learning.
Elbow, P. (1998). Writing with power: Techniques for mastering the writing process. Oxford University Press.
REVISED PAPER
**The Bold Part is the Revised Section**
Introduction
Based on some estimates, grass lawns cover approximately 2% of the urban and suburban localities of the United States and the UK. Hence, America's lawns cover approximately 50,000 square miles (Lane et al., 2019). The grass lawn culture was popular among English nobility and was transferred to the United States in the late nineteenth century (Toher, 2016). The scope of developing grass lawns is mainly concerned with enhancing aesthetic value and cultural enrichment, as growing grass generally adds to the beauty of the landscape while paying little attention to its environmental impact (Ignatieva et al., 2020). Conversely, clover lawns offer a better scope as they are easily cultivable, less expensive, environmentally and pollinator-friendly, and require less maintenance (Toher, 2016). Hence, this discussion provides arguments to answer whether clover lawns are a better alternative to grass lawns.
Accordingly, g...
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