Five connecting points to the reading materials in class

Five connecting points to the reading materials in class
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Introduction
Relationships involving two people are faced much confusion because people normally do not know the motive of the individuals who they are interacting with. For example, dealing with an angry person is tiresome because of the involved conflict in such a relationship. Positive relationship needs social skills and human maturity. People who are immature and lack social skills have challenges of making positive relationships. Personal power skills are core skills which every person should develop for daily interaction and relationships in life. Personal power skills concern with having the ability of an individual leading her or himself. Personal power is the capability of a person achieving what she or he wants to achieve happiness and success. The biggest barrier that hinders people achieving positive relationship is helplessness, negativity and powerlessness. These belong together. The challenge is that not only an individual is powerless, but also people, who are around her or him, are powerless. This barrier can be addressed by developing personal power skills (emotional intelligence). An individual should be self-aware about her or himself. She or he should understand social skills he or she lacks, know how to sharpen the ones he or she possesses, and learn new skills. Time management and stress management are vital skills that can be used to boost self-esteem and build a relationship.
Dyads
Any two people interacting involve in dyads that create a context with certain expectations. For example, student-student relationship is a different context from that of parent-son relationship. This can also be seen in relationship between spouses, a teacher with students, doctors with patients and employees at workplace (p. 15). Some people are unable to interact together harmoniously due to poor interpersonal skills, anger, distrust, personality conflict, damaged pride and animosity affecting their relationships. Conflict resolution strategy can assist two individuals to solve their dysfunctional behaviors and come into agreement to develop a positive interacting relationship. An individual has to remain aware of the context expectations to ensure that social interaction is mutually alive and enhanced (p. 16). The level of personal maturity is important since an individual without adequate maturity is not aware of how to adjust and change. Adjusting and changing are vital indicators of maturity. An individual needs knowledge, high maturity level and skills of adapting adjustment to build a relationship.
Onion theory
Onion theory is a conflict layer model that enables an individual to peel back layers in order to reveal the true needs of her or himself. Onion theory is a model appropriate for a context in which people have a mutual relationship where they interact openly and freely. In social interaction, it is common that people do not reveal their true and deepest needs. People sometimes do not reveal deepest needs about them. People may feel vulnerable, foolish or selfish about them, and therefore they talk about less significant things concerning themselves. When this occurs, unfortunately, socialization or interaction may not develop a long-term relationship since it would not be based on what people truly want (p. 16).
Related to this onion model, Charles Horton Cooley created a theory he identified as the “looking-Glass self”. The theory presents that sense of self of a person is the product that is produced as a result of social interaction with other people. The theory illustrates three states. The first state is that people think of how they present themselves to others. In the second state, people imagine how others evaluate them. In the third state, people develop feeling about them as a result of these impressions. Self-esteem, self-worth and self-image of an individual, are developed from the manner he or she thinks others see him or her (p. 35). A person must have a clear sense of her of his true self so that to visualize her or himself developing successful relationships (p. 35). Perceptions and mindset of a person are integral to her or his success. Good looking at individual self is like peeling away the layers of an onion. The individual might be surprised of discovering hidden skills, talents, and dreams.
Sometimes, people feel tension and discomfort when they are present among others. Not knowing precisely what others think about an individual may lead to feeling of self-doubts and insecurity in the person (p. 78). According to Charles Horton Cooley, the level of personal insecurity that an individual expressed in a social situation depends on what she or he believes others thinks about her or him. In his concept about the “looking glass self”, Cooley presents that an individual’s self develops as a result of social interaction with other people. Individual’s perception is a product of thinking about personal impressions and qualities of how others think about the person. In other words, Cooley says that how people see themselves do not originate from how the truly are, but from how they believe people see them. Many people have a negative perception about themselves because of the negative feelings they think about others see in them. As a result, they feel withdrawn, impersonalized, fragmented and alienated.
The onion is broken down into secondary and primary segments. When people are strangers; this is the outer part layer of an onion in which people tend to hide information about themselves. As people spend more time and interact together, their relationship deepens (p. 37). They move toward the deeper layer of the onion, and they tend to come much closer. In this way, people move out of secondary segment into primary segment as relationship becomes stronger, and more trust develops. When people share common values and preferences, they develop mutual relationship (p. 38). Only few individuals manage to develop trust and true relationship that involve primary people. For example, relationship involving level I is a true and stronger relationship based on interacting with soulmates, husbands and wives, and couples. The relationship involving level II is based on interacting with best of best friends; level III involves interacting with best friends; that of level IV entails socializing with friends; that of level V involves interacting with acquaintances (who an individual knows little about them); that of level VI...