Relationship Counseling: The Sociologist Perspective

Relationship Counseling: The Sociologist Perspective
Name
Institutional Affiliation
Relationship Counseling: The Sociologist Perspective
Relationship counseling has taken diverse approaches since the history of mankind, as healthy relationships among married couples or singles are fundamental to the well-being and health of society (Schofield et al., 2012). John Gray, the author of “Men Are from Mars/Women Are from Venus," established the Mars/Venus counseling approach to model gender differences and their potential impacts on communication and relationship among men and women (Carlson, 2001). The author imagines that men are from Mars while women are from Venus. One day, the Martians decide to peep through Venus using a telescope and what they see are beautiful Venusians. They then visit the women ad awake their feelings, thus falling in love. After learning about each other in Venus and discovering their different interests, they decide to visit Earth, which becomes their new home. However, although Martians and Venusians are now on Earth, Gray (2003) reminds readers that men and women are from two distant planets, and their ways of communicating and handling stress are different and should be treated as such. Through his book, Gray shares advice on how couples can experience intimate relationships by bridging the differences between men and women. While Gray acknowledges that men are Martians and women are Venusians, he is optimistic that psychological differences can be reconciled as partners on their new planet Earth (Gray, 2003). Motivation, communication, and support and concern among women and men in relationships are critical elements that Gray (2013) discusses in his book. Based on John Gray’s approach to relationship counseling, this essay rewrites the advice to conflicts and issues the author shares based on the social, cultural, and economic forces working against a relationship and the envisioned solution.
Women should be appreciated by their partners while showing men that their support is of absolute importance. John Gray advises that while the Martians desire their female counterparts, the Venusians, to appreciate their abilities, women desire that men appreciate their contributions to their relationships and society (Gray, 2003). Here, Gray distinguishes the different kinds of praise that men and women enjoy and categorizes that men always want to work individually, but women love teamwork. Kuhn and Villeval (2013) have conducted a study investigating whether women generally prefer team-based work compared to men. Results from this study indicate that women are more attracted to teamwork because they are optimistic and appreciate the abilities of other team members. Nevertheless, men tend to show more responsiveness to efficiency gains through teamwork and may often prefer to work alone if efficiency is compromised during the work process (Kuhn & Villeval, 2013). In publishing Economic papers, research has found that women have struggled to beat men in the number of paper submissions because they are not appreciated in collaborative work with male authors (Wolfers, 2016). Women become motivated when their presence is felt in their relationships, while men are easily inspired when they feel important and that their attention is needed. According to Gray (2003), feelings of not being needed can potentially cause a slow death among men in relationships. This is an example of when collaborative efforts fail to be appreciated and relate to relationships among couples and single individuals. Therefore, to resolve issues with appreciation, men must appreciate the contributions of their female partners. At the same time, the Venusians should praise their men's abilities or make them feel that they are needed.
Understanding language and communication styles in males and females are critical for healthy relationships. Gray recognizes that men and women respond differently in times of crisis as men choose to be non-communicative while women prefer expressing their feelings when faced with challenging moments (Gray, 2003). Difficult moment drives men to their hiding places while women find relief from their miseries when they share problems with their friends. Medical researchers have blamed this aspect of men remaining silent on increasing mental health issues among the Martians. Studies have found that depression and suicide are more prevalent among men than women since the conditions go untreated as they rarely seek medical interventions (Chatmon, 2020). Contrary, women value sharing their concerns and perceive silence as a progenitor of their powerlessness. According to Solnit (2017), the right to voice women's concerns is a form of redistributive justice, and that silence is a living death. However, as Gray (2003) observes, men's typical reaction to a difficult situation is to remain silent with the hope that they can fix issues alone. In a relationship, these differences may cause trouble as men would not want to involve their partners when facing serious problems. Related to remaining silent, men also prefer to avoid listening to others' trouble, but women are ready to listen so that they can offer help in distress times. Gray (2003) describes this advice in other parts of his book, distinguishing the styles of communication employed by men and women. Therefore, understanding differences betwe...