Cyber Intimacy: A Literature Review

Cyber Intimacy: A Literature Review
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With the emergence and rise of the Internet age, the world has turned into a giant neighborhood facilitating communication and the formation of new connections. Unlike the pre-technological times, people can now seek, sustain and make or break intimate relationships from the convenience of their smart devices. Since the emergence of the Internet, it is no secret that people’s romantic relationships have been irrevocably altered. According to Kwok and Wescott (2020), the evolution of technology has led to a quickening of the mating process and significantly reduced the rituals that were present before. With as much as a swipe of a finger, people can now express their interest in a potential partner, set dates, and grow their relationships online. Therefore, cyber intimacy has vastly changed the modes in which people connect and interact with one another.
Buchholz (2020) observes that today’s current population prefers to ‘take matters into their own hands’ and actively seek out their partners as opposed to waiting for whomever life throws their way. Research by Rosenfeld et al. (2019) revealed that, between 1995 and 2017, the number of heterosexuals who met and connected online rose from 2 percent to approximately 40 percent. This drastic change can only be attributed to the rise of dating apps, for example, Tinder and e-harmony, and the emergence of social networking sites, for example, Facebook and Instagram (Buchholz, 2020). Connecting online has been ranked as the third most popular way by which couples meet, with approximately 30 percent of these relationships leading to marriage, a report by Kwok & Wescott (2020) shows. According to e-harmony (2021), there is a 50 percent chance that relationships that begin online break over the Internet as well.
Types of virtual relationships
As the advent of technology has vastly changed human communication and led to the world’s view as a global village, numerous online relationships have come up as a result. The most common types are as follows.
Online Dating
This being the most common type of virtual relationship, as stated by Manchanda (2016), presents a plethora of opportunities for people seeking their match over the Internet. With the rise of numerous apps that support online communication, such as communication sites as Facebook and Instagram and dating apps as Tinder, individuals can now meet potential suitors without having to meet physically. At the onset, no physical contact occurs between the two individuals, which may or may not change depending on the preferences of the involved individuals. The individuals communicate through texting, calling, and video conferencing and can maintain the relationship even though they are physically separated.
Mediated Matchmaking
According to an article by Shaefer (2003) published in the New York Times, mediated matchmaking is a practice that has been around since the 1800s. The rise of technology has led to the increase of matchmaking sites, for example, OkCupid, which connects individuals seeking love based on their attributes, hobbies, personalities, age, gender, and sexual preferences. Shaefer (2003) notes that for these matchmaking sites, the period between New Year’s Day and Valentine’s Day is usually the busiest time of the year, with numerous individuals of all kinds of race, religion, preferences, and orientation.
Theoretical Framework
Hertlein (2012) proposes a multi-model theoretical framework to understand the role of technology in family and couple relationships. This model integrates three theoretical frameworks: the family ecology perspective, the structural-functional theory, and the interaction-constructionist theory. According to Granic et al. (2003), the family ecology perspective analyses how family systems are affected and altered by issues in the local environment. Therefore, this model seeks to analyze and understand how influence from the Internet and technology inspires changes in relationships. According to Granic et al. (2003), the changes in the relationships can be classified into two: changes to the structure of the relationship and changes to the process of the development of the relationship. Hertlein (2012) relates the changes in the structure of the relationship to the structural-functional theory, which focuses on the organization and structure of the families, according to Johnson (1971). When incorporating this structure into Hertlein’s model, the ecological influences are further broadened to include such issues as privacy, rules on boundaries, and communication of household duties and roles. The changes to the process by which relationships are formed stems from the third theory, the interaction-constructionist theory (Hertlein, 2012). This theory focuses on how individuals interact and communicate through words, behaviors, gestures, and rituals, as noted by Berger and Kellner (1964). Humphreys (2005) opines that technological advancements only allow people to do what they have always done, but the meaning of technology is interpreted by the users.
Role of technology in cyber intimacy
Hertlein and Stevenson (2010) list the vulnerabilities that arise to couple relationships at an ecological level, referring to them as the seven A’s: anonymity, affordability, accessibility, ambiguity, approximation, accommodation, and acceptability. According to Cooper (2002), anonymity is the means by which Internet users hide their online identity with respect to specific information, for example, age and gender and personality (Teske, 2002). Anonymity may cause internet users to hide behind a false online image and may lead to them acting in uncharacteristic ways (Donn and Sherman, 2002). Postmes et al. (1998) identify a positive outcome from anonymity as being able to conform to groups, and according to Lea and Spears (1991), the individual differences brought about by power, social classes, and gender are eliminated, making it easier for people to form and maintain social relationships online. However, anonymity may lead internet users to feel less inclined to comply with social norms and rules online, which is the biggest threat to online relationships. By not disclosing personal information that may identify them later on, individuals are more inclined to destructive behavior and criminal activities against their partners.
According to Cooper (2002), the Internet provides an affordable and easily accessible means of communication in couple relationships. According to Cooper, individuals can easily access the Internet from various places, which implies a greater level of control and choice. In addition, the Internet offers an affordable means of communication and interaction between users. It creates more chances for people who are physically apart to interact, regardless of their location or separation by physical boundaries.
Hertlein & Stevenson (2010) define ambiguity as to the varying problematic behavior between different people. In other words, what may be classified as moral to one person may be immoral or incorrect from another’s point of view, thus bringing about some level of ambiguity in the interactions (Whitty and Quigley, 2008). Due to the limited communication cues present in online communication and dating, ambiguity is crucial in such computer-mediated communications. According to Hertlein (2012), online communication relies more heavily on content than face-to-face communication, leading to increasing uninhibited behavior and less compliance with social norms. Higgins (1987) states that the Internet provides an opportunity for individuals to act according to their ‘real’ self instead of their ‘ought’ self. This is evident as shown by Cooper et al. (2004), which showed that men participate in behaviors, such as sexual chatting, which they would not do in their offline lives. Partners are therefore more inclined to reveal their true personalities and vulnerabilities online than in their real life.
Approximation is another powerful tool that helps people in online relationships to maintain close ties. According to Ross and Kauth (2002), the Internet can be used to approximate face-to-face relationships. Trepagnier et al. (2011) observe that new technology is constantly being developed and upgraded to enable couples to build their relationship skills over the Internet. As helpful as the Internet is in strengthening communications, it can also be detrimental to the relationship, for example, if one of the partners begins and fosters communication with other individuals outside the relationship (Hertlein, 2012).
Madden and Lenhart (2006) observe how the Internet has become more reliable as a method for developing romantic relationships. The use of specialized technological software such as video calling transmission has become accepted widely as the norm in most of today’s relationships. Many people have thus adopted online dating and cyber intimacy. Technologies such as social media platforms have been approved as commonplace for partners to know more about each other and maintain social ties.
The incorporation of technology into relationships has brought about various changes and redefinitions from the trad...