Similarities and Differences of "Family Values" and "Why Gay Marriage Is Good for America"

Compare and Contrasting Essay:
"Family Values" and "Why Gay Marriage Is Good for America"
It was only in July this year when same sex marriage in the United States was finally upheld with a 5-4 ruling of the Supreme Court. Justice Anthony Kennedy, writing for the majority who voted in favor of same sex marriage, said in his ruling, "No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family…In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than they once were" (de Vogue & Diamond, 2015). While the LGBT community rejoiced in light of this victory, there are still a huge percentage of Americans who are against this new ruling. In his dissent, Justice Antonin Scalia called this development as a "threat to American Democracy" and a "hubris reflected in today's judicial Putsch". Such opposing views are found not only in the Supreme Court, but also in the rest of the American society. In fact, news of government workers walking out in protest spread in the news while thousands of social media accounts began to sport the rainbow flag in celebration of the ruling.
Written first in 2013, years before the Supreme Court finally put same sex marriage to a vote, Andrew Sullivan and Richard Rodriguez both expressed that being gay, in fact, upholds family values. Rodriguez (2014) says in his essay, "They regard me as no less an enemy of the family than the ‘radical feminists'. But the joke about families that all homosexuals know is that we are the ones who stick around and make the family possible" (p.260). Meanwhile Sullivan (2014) says this of same sex marriage,"…every single argument against marriage equality for gays collapsed upon inspection…the data showed that in the era of gay marriage, straight marriage had actually strengthened somewhat, divorce rates had declined, and marriages lasted longer (p. 255).
From these two quotes alone one can already see the similarities and differences of Rodriguez's and Sullivan's view. While both of them say that being gay is not a threat to family values, they approach this claim differently. Sullivan talks about the need for homosexual partners to experience equality in the law so that they can form non-conventional families and mimic conventional family setups. For Sullivan, his capacity to marry is an affirmation of his "inalienable human rights to ‘life, liberty and pursuit of happiness" (Sullivan, 2015, p. 254). His experience shows that marriage to someone you love and cherish can bring, not just happiness, but also healing. Alienated throughout his life because of his gender preferences, Sullivan became an introvert while he was younger. Such introversion came with so much pain because he could not fully express who he was to his peers. His marriage gave him the gift of acceptance, and a promise of a future of growth and happiness.
Rodriguez's perspective is also very personal. Like Sullivan, he knows the stigma that gay people experience. But unlike Sullivan, he began his tale in a hopeful way - his desire to tell his family of his gender preference, and why it is important to "come out" despite the repercussions. Rodriguez says that his parents know that "when you come to this country [America] you risk losing your children. The assurance of family - continuity, inevitability - is precisely what America encourages to overturn" (Rodriguez, 2015, p. 257). Children are taught that they have to do things independent of their parents. At 18 years old, they would be expected to move out and become their own man. But the gay child, Rodriguez claims, stay at home, to take care of his parents. Unlike his married siblings, it is the gay child, unattached, who is free to break the norms of society. He can stay at home when everyone else has left. He can serve his parents, when everyone else is busy making their own families. It is the gay child, he who has made himself his own man because of his choice to make his gender preference public, who has the strength to break all the other unspoken rules of American society just so he ensure that his old family unit will continue. As more and more of American society is moving out of the workforce and into old age, gay individuals, unlike their married siblings have the capacity to support and uphold their family.
In its entirety, Rodriguez and Sullivan raised important points about gender roles and family values. Both of them talk about being gay as a well-kept secret because society is yet not ready to creat...