Poem Analysis and Feedback
Follow the attached
1. First, read each poem below a few times and write down notes in the margin using Comments and Track Changes in Microsoft Word, underline words you don’t understand, begin to formulate a sense of what the poem is trying to do.
As you read, put little check marks next to things that you think are working, and some kind of notation on those things that you think are not working in the poem.
Now, tell the author what you think the story and the situation of the poem are. This will help you to articulate your reading of the poem for the author. This is particularly useful if the meaning is opaque. Even if you are not sure of your reading, tell the author and provide your feedback.
Now, look closely at the poem for the following:
* Is there a form? Do they follow it consistently? If not, why not?
* Is there a rhyme scheme? Do they follow it consistently? If not, why not?
* What kind of sound devices are being used? How do they enhance the poem?
* Are the metaphors and similes original and fresh? Are there places where the poem might benefit from figurative language? If so, where?
* How is the poet using line breaks? Where might they be more effective?
* Does the poem turn? Where? How did your reading change after the poem? How did it enhance the story?
* What is the poem’s title? Is it appropriate? Could it be more informative? Do you have suggestions?
* Does the rhythm match the poem? How is it creating tension or harmony within the poem?
Finally, what suggestions might you offer the poet?
2. Create a brief end note for the author giving them suggestions to help strengthen the poem as well as mentioning some of the poem’s strengths.
19 April 2021
Fangorn Forest – ORIGINAL DRAFT
The path is dark, but a split through the trees as thread the travelers slip through the eye. Move but cast no light for those that might see in a forest both awake and alive. Myths tell this path both as blessed and damned by daylight it follows the arrows way but the eye may find something better planned illusion whispers and the heart betrays Knowing they walk the path in moonless night blind to illusion but not deaf to sound they can hear the hunger that lay behind an ancient barrier to keep them bound. They must move to meet the moons steady pace Or surrender here to Fangorn's embrace
Fangorn Forest – REVISION
✓The path is dark, only a split through the trees But as thread the travelers slip through the eye. Move casting no light for those that might see From within the forest both awake and alive. ✓Myths tell this path both as blessed and damned by daylight it is known to follow the arrows way but the eye may find something better planned when illusion whispers, the heart betrays Knowing the stories, they instead walk by moonless night blind to illusion but not deaf to sound they can still hear the hunger that lay just behind the ancient barrier that keeps it bound. They all must move to keep the moons eternal pace Or surrender themselves to Fangorn's long embrace
I like how your content was written. Although there was no consistent rhyme and measure your use of the metaphors and symbolisms were very intriguing. However, I believe that Fangorn forest as a title might be difficult to understand for readers who are not aware of the background of your poem. Particularly, while the first two stanzas were clear, the third stanza does not provide any context about “ancient barriers”. Nevertheless, I like your consistent measure and rhyme scheme throughout.
Diary Ink – ORIGINAL DRAFT
“A”
on my right ankle
a pick and poke rebellion
14
“A”
on my right ankle
self-corrected
made worse
17
Winter Tree
on my left foot
from the toe to upper ankle
once a mark of friendship
now a mark of perseverance
18
“Fehu”
Druid Rune
on my right ankle
a mark of family
the mark
Gandalf left
on Bilbos door
the mark of adventure
to cover the “A”
25
Diary Ink – REVISION
“A”
on my right ankle
anarchy or Ashley
a broken pen
a pick and poke rebellion
14
“A”
on my right ankle
self-corrected
made so much worse
a rocket ship?
Or mountain?
17
✓Winter Tree
on my left foot
from the toe to upper ankle
once a mark of friendship
now a mark of perseverance
18
“Fehu”
Druid Symbol
Rune
on my right ankle
a mark of family
the mark
Gandalf left
on Bilbos door
the mark of adventure
to cover the “A”
25 I actually like how free this poem is particularly with regards to its form and content. However, any readers that does not have any idea about the background or context of the poem might not get it even if the...
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