Counsel on Marriage and Parenting Psychology Term Paper

Counsel on Marriage and Parenting
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Counsel on Marriage and Parenting
The family remains the basic unit of human sociology that should be protected by all means necessary. In the past half-century, family has witnessed changes that impact its structure majorly. The family basis has shifted from a purely homogeneous to highly heterogeneous. Currently, there are homosexual families as well as the traditional heterogeneous family setups. Even more notable are the impacts that economic changes have brought to the family. The traditional setup demanded that the father fetches livelihoods for his family through economic endeavors such as employment. That structure distanced fathers from their sons. However, the fact that the labor market delivered efficiently and aspects such as housing and inflation barely concerned individuals meant that fathers could use their earnings to serve their families just well. The economic paradigms have since changed and families require faster upward mobility. Both parents and sometimes young children are needed in the labor market to fuel the mobility. The impacts of the changing operational environment have drawn even a larger gap between family members. Fathers and mothers currently interact with their workmates for longer hours than they do with their immediate family members. Superficially, people are beginning to lose the value that they accorded the family in favor of emphasis on socio-economic upward mobility. The changes have left integral prospects to the family such as marriage and parenting at such a bad state that people need counseling in multiple aspects including guidance for marriage and guidance for parenting in particular paradigms.
General Guidance for Marriage
Marriage is a beautiful thing that people should understand from its basics to its impacts on their lives. Marriage is a beautiful thing and “he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from God (Proverbs 18:22, NIV). Even amidst such biblical declarations, the escalating amounts of divorcees, disagreements among partners, and cases of fathers evading their families keep casting doubts on whether marriage really is a good thing. There are a number of prospects that people need to understand about marriage before they commit themselves to the prospect and even when they are growing in love. Principally, marriage is a Godly gift to humanity. Marriage is a process in which two adults who are in love commit to each other and declare publicly their intention to live together forever as a couple. People must understand that when they indulge themselves in marriage, they commit themselves to a gift that God gave to his people. Christians understand that God never wishes anything bad on his people. In a marriage union, the individuals leave their past and families to unite as one. The Bible asserts that “therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:22-24, NIV). Using this scripture, people who indulge in marriage must understand their involvement in a long-term commitment that even their respective families should not break.[Randles, Jennifer and Kerry Woodward. 2018. "Learning to Labor, Love, and Live: Shaping the Good Neoliberal Citizen in State Work and Marriage Programs." Sociological Perspectives 61, no. 1: 44] [Brown, Susan L., Wendy D. Manning, and Krista K. Payne. 2016. "Family Structure and Children's Economic Well-Being: Incorporating Same-Sex Cohabiting Mother Families." Population Research and Policy Review 35, no. 1: 18.]
There are multiple good reasons when people make decisions to be committed in marriages. Firstly, people should be married because they see marriage as an option that they would both prefer to explore but not as an obligation. The current society is so challenging that one can barely make decisions about themselves without interference from external forces. People have so much knowledge that they feel like experts in everything in which they indulge. That includes marriage that requires a personal understanding of the concept before one commits. Treating marriage as an obligation is the wrong reason to be married. Those who are willing to be indulged in marriage must understand that it is upon themselves to make the decisions. The moment people marry because their parents or friends demand so, they set themselves into traps. People should also consider marriage when they feel like they have a strong friendship that underpins the relationship. Every person understands that love changes paradigms within short periods of time. However, when making a commitment to another person, it is necessary that one considers their friendship. Sometimes, love fails and only that friendship keeps the partners from faltering. Ultimately, people should marry when they feel like they have similar visions for the future. Each person needs to grow and a place where there is no growth is a place of failure. When two individuals who pursue similar goals come together, their chances of succeeding together become higher. People who fall into marriage just because they are in love do the right thing albeit prematurely. It is only appropriate that more opportunities are accorded to understanding each other about what each person needs. Without such considerations, individuals will be indulged in constant arguments and fights that effectively kill their marriage.[Morrill, Melinda Ippolito, Matt Hawrilenko, and James Córdova V. 2016. "A longitudinal examination of positive parenting following an acceptance-based couple intervention: JFP JFP." Journal of Family Psychology 30, no. 1: 104]
There are wrong reasons that people should not use to indulge in a commitment that requires lasting involvements such as marriage. An individual should not marry to prove something. Being involved in marriage because one intends to prove something is recipe for failure. People should remember that the influencers to whom they intend to prove something are not part of the marriage. Other people indulge in marriage because they are afraid to be alone. Remarkably, it is worth staying alone than staying in a relationship that is only stressful and cannot yield any happiness. Staying alone is a worry for many. However, few would like to choose the option that will possibly ill them. It is fair that individuals are patient enough not to make decisions because they are lonely but because they are ready. The last wrong reason why people indulge in marriage is that they want to solve their relationship problems. After breaking up from multiple relationships, individuals begin to think that they are not normal or something is wrong with them. As such, they do not take time to understand what they need in relationships. Such people easily end up being disappointed with their marriages. Every person should be careful so as not to engage in marriage for the reasons that are not appropriate.[Stolz, Heidi E., et al. 2017. "Parenting Together: Evaluation of a Parenting Program for Never-Married Parents." Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 58, no. 5: 364.]
The increasing amounts of divorcees still trigger questions about what really causes breakouts from marriages. Multiple reasons have been given to be the primary cause of failures in marriage. Infidelity is the number one reason why people break from relationships. In various contexts, infidelity has been treated with perceptions that are merely superficial. Infidelity begins as an emotional affair. As one keeps finding more emotional support from another person who is not his/her partner, chances are high that such relationships advance into physical relationships. Infidelity could be caused by factors emanating from both partners. For instance, an individual could cheat just because his/her partner does not offer the emotional support that is needed and he/she can achieve that support from another person.[Randles, Jennifer and Kerry Woodward. 2018. "Learning to Labor, Love, and Live: Shaping the Good Neoliberal Citizen in State Work and Marriage Programs." Sociological Perspectives 61, no. 1: 54]
Money is the other reason why most marriages fail. Different things ranging from one partner making money than the other, lack of income, and financial goals all contribute to failures in marriages. Partly, it is for the financial reasons that people should assess their personal goals and see if they share in their ambitions before making decisions to commit to marriages. Lack of communication and lack of intimacy are some of the other causes of failures in marriage. People in a relationship should be indulged in consistent communication. It is through communication that individuals can understand the needs of their partners. Additionally, the lack of intimacy could mean that people in marriage do not have time for each other. That could lead to fallouts in marriages. The other notable causes of breakups include abuse, poor preparedness for marriage, lack of equality and health issues, especially weight gain. If the above causes of marriage failures are not addressed effectively, they can actually cause the failures.[Morrill, Melinda Ippolito, Matt Hawrilenko, and James Córdova V. 2016. "A longitudinal examination of positive parenting following an acceptance-based couple intervention: JFP JFP." Journal of Family Psychology 30, no. 1: 104]
The above causes of failures in marriages automatically lead to what partners in marriage should do to have lasting commitments to their partners. The first option should concern trust in God to keep the relationship standing. Partners in marriage should pray consistently and believe that God has good plans for their marriages. Each relationship has a challenge, but partners must understand that “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:2-3, NIV). The other consideration for a lasting marriage is doing things together. People involved in marriage should have common visions and should do their things collectively. Physical and sexual closeness remain important prospects in relationships. People require intimacy to feel their value and love with their partners. The other vital prospects that must be explored in marriages for them to last include communication, dining together, and emotional closeness. Put simply, partners in love must view marriage as a multifaceted prospect that requires a collective indulgence to succeed.[Stolz, Heidi E., et al. 2017. "Parenting Together: Evaluation of a Parenting Program for Never-Married Parents." Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 58, no. 5: 363]
Guidance on Parenting Teenagers
Parenting is one of the social aspects that has eluded most individuals especially when it comes to teenagers. Growth into teenage comes with transition from childhood to adulthood. Teenagers behave differently as from their childhood because, at that age, they begin to identify themselves. To some parents, that is a change that they are barely willing to take. To parent a teenager, one must understand the basics of parenting. Parenting implies the intricate of raising a child beyond the confines of biological ties. Parents are indulged in a rearing process in which they are needed to instigate and support the intellectual, emotional, and physical development of the children. Good parenting is characterized by consistency and understanding the needs of all the stakeholders in that relationship. A parent must consider the age of a child or stage of development before instilling particular styles of parenting. The fact that parents emphasize the independence of their children means that redundancy dominates good parenting.[Randles, Jennifer and Kerry Woodward. 2018. "Learning to Labor, Love, and Live: Shaping the Good Neoliberal Citizen in State Work and Marriage Programs." Sociological Perspectives 61, no. 1: 53]
Psychologists believe that parenting techniques affect the manner in which children grow to perceive the world. At a young age, children are easily influenced. Whatever they eat, talk, or interact with develop to become part of their personality. Various psychosocial and environmental factors such as religious beliefs, aggressiveness, access to illegal drugs, divorce, and consistent fights and abuse among parents define the manners in which children develop to perceive the world. Psychosocial analyses have concluded that children who develop to become violent or involved in criminal activities may have been influenced by their parents. That makes it possible to believe that the ease or difficulty by which a parent finds parenting a teenager stems from the parenting techniques or exposure that such children endured in their younger stages of development. Being a good parent to a child in his/her teenage must start with appropriate parenting techniques right from the time when individuals become parents.[Brown, Susan L., Wendy D. Manning, and Krista K. Payne. 2016. "Family Structure and Children's Economic Well-Being: Incorporating Same-Sex Cohabiting Mother Families." Population Research and Policy Review 35, no. 1: 15.]
There are common mistakes that individuals make while parenting their teenagers. First among the mistakes is expecting the worst from the teenagers. Most parents watch in a helpless belief as they witness their children transform from lovable individuals into unpredictable monsters. Expecting children to develop bad behaviors could actually actualize because expectations come with duty. The moment a parent quits his/her role because of ne...