Modern Attachment Styles In Modern Relationships

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Introduction
Attachment styles have significant effects on love relationships. They affect aspects such as partner selection, the progress of the relationship, and how it ends. Human beings have the tendency to get attached to others right from infancy. Given that attachment styles affect integral aspects of a love relationship, it is essential for people to recognize their attachment styles. This will help in understanding their vulnerabilities. The way couples experience love and attain intimacy varies across the attachment styles. The three attachment styles include secure, avoidant, and anxious-ambivalent (Cassidy and Shaver 437). These styles develop as a response to the emotional behavior of the child’s caregiver (Larsen, Ommundsen and Veer 91). This essay examines how these attachment styles affect love relationships.
Secure Attachment
The way children are raised determines the attachment styles they are going to experience when they enter into adult relationships. According to Larsen, Ommundsen and Veer, infants show stubborn attachments to their primary caregiver (91). This is depicted by the child’s full devotion to the mother. The attachment to the mother may continue as the child grows a little older. However, there may be a change eventually the child becomes fond of the father or other relatives. Given that the emotional warmth and the personal security that caregivers offer to the infant are different, children develop different styles that impact their adult love relationships (Larsen, Ommundsen and Veer 91).
The child develops the secure attachment when his or her emotional needs are met by the caregiver. Therefore, when the caregiver is available, the child develops a sense of security which she or he carries out to adult love relationships. Individuals that possess secure attachment embrace closeness and have high self-esteem. They trust how their partners display their love. In addition, they are also willing to change their behaviors for the sake of the one they love. Individuals displaying this attachment style can also overlook the faults of their partners. Given that they were brought up in an environment filled with care and high level of warmth, they are able to trust their partners more. They thus feel secure when in love relationships. The high level of attention received when they were young makes them feel comfortable depending on others. They are also comfortable when their partners depend on them. As seen, secure attachment style determines to a great extent the progress of the relationship. As noted by Cassidy and Shaver, individuals with secure attachment styles are able to express passionate and selfless love to their partners (437). The love relationship involving a secure attached individual is likely to be characterized by high levels of intimacy and commitment.
According to Duck, people secure attachment is associated with higher level of marital satisfaction (45). Therefore, it is deducible that secure attachment style can lead to satisfaction with marriage. This is mainly because of the open communication between partners. The ability to talk things over when there are conflicts in the relationships means that such individuals are more satisfied. The high level of satisfaction is also as a result of the couple loving the same things and resolving issues when they occur. Ass informed by Firestone, when a partner is distressed, the other offers support. The love relationship, in this case, is characterized by openness, equality, and honesty. Therefore, it is for this reason that such individuals are likely to derive satisfaction from the relationship. As seen, secure attachment style has a significant impact on the love relationship. It determines the important aspects of the relationship. For individuals with this style, they are able to derive a high level of satisfaction from the love relationship.
Avoidant Attachment
This is another category of attachment styles, and it describes individuals that are fearful of emotional dependency. Given this feature, the ability of such individuals to develop intimate relationships is reduced. Being fearful of emotional dependency means that individuals distance themselves from their partners emotionally. It is important to recognize that emotional attachment is a big part of love relationships. Therefore, when individual distances himself or herself emotionally from their partner, the intimacy in the relationship is significantly affected.
According to Cassidy and Shaver, individuals with this style depict game-playing kind of love which is also known as ludus (437). The individuals believe that they have to get close to their partners in order to have their emotional needs met. However, from experience, given that they have the tendency to distance themselves from their partners emotionally, they know that getting close causes them emotional pain. When they are young, such individuals show distress when their parents leave. When the parents return, children with avoidant attachment are hard to soothe. Therefore, their behavior in adulthood is affected by the way they were brought up. It is for this reason that they become reluctant to get close to their partners and as mentioned before,...