Analysis of Demand and Supply

I need 500 words added to my current paper, also can you fix the corrections my professor noted?



I will add the outline, my drafted paper and the criteria, please add a reference within the current year as well.





1. Thesis

The thesis is stated, but needs work.



Content argument: synthesis of analytic ideas & command of course material is good but needs work. That is, it must show an argument showing good comprehension and engagement with course material and topic.



Anticipate the counterarguments. Once you have a working thesis, you should think about what might be said against it. This will help you to refine your thesis, and it will also make you think of the arguments that you'll need to refute later on in your essay.





2. Organization and coherence

The essay is organized

The essay makes some viable points.

Good job using named heading and sub headings, but introduction, body, and conclusion need to be clearly seen.



3. Paragraphs

Paragraphing needs work (as a rule of thumb, think of PIE: each paragraph in a critical essay needs a Point, an Illustration, and an Explanation). Add more (conclusion)





4. Transitions

No transitions between paragraphs

Transitions between paragraphs must be strong to help the reader move from one idea to the next.

Edit to include transitions between paragraphs



5. Supporting arguments

Supporting arguments need more evidence: statistics etc.



Statistics should be used to substantiate your findings and help you to say objectively when you have significant results.



Make sure that:

Citations for statistics should enable your readers to locate the table or data that you have used in your assignment or paper. At a minimum, a citation should include:

• creator of the data (often an organization or government agency)

• date of publication

• where it was published

• date that you accessed the data, only if significant (i.e., data is updated without adjustment to publication date)



Look for other Supporting arguments: need more elaboration and/or evidence to better defend your claims.



6. APA Documentation



In text citations looks good

Reference page needs work.



Hope this helps you.

Lyndon

Lyndon Burnham , May 8 at 12pm

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