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Should Children Learn to Manage Money?

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help me do the rhetorical analysis, and help me fixed some problem which the teacher gave the feedback. And please underline what you changed, so I can know that.

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Should Children Learn to Manage Money?
Many young people do not know the importance of personal financial ability to personal life when they have just stepped into society. In the article named "Top 10 financial mistakes young people make" (Ho), we can see 10 common but terrible problems that most young people are facing in the current world. The root of these mistakes that they make is they are not able to manage their own money when they begin to work, so that they have all kinds of inappropriate spending and consumption. Because of wrong financial knowledge and lack of basic financial management, lots of financial problems appear in their lives. For example,, young people are overwhelmed by various paychecks and bills. They cannot afford the expenses, because they have no economic planning, and impulse buying. At the end of a month, they will find they do not have their own savings, and even the source of the economy depends on their parents and families. With the time goes by, their life will have a variety of difficulties. Even if they realize these problems, it is hard and too late for young people who has no financial base and management ability to solve them. Finally, they realize the importance of learning to manage money from a young age at that time. If they start learning manage their own money since they were young, these problems will not appear and therefore, in order to become financial success in their adulthood, children should learn how to manage money from a young age.
In the research paper “Foundations of Financial Well-Being: Insights into the Role of Executive Function, Financial Socialization, and Experience-Based Learning in Childhood and Youth”, author Drever begins building on the importance of money management using facts and sources that are reputable and including convincing arguments and facts hence successfully employing logical appeals. The arrangement of the paper in a systematic form helps to create credibility. For example the papers talks of how children are able to know that money does not come easy and also the fact that teaching young children is easy since it is a blank slate and this seems logical because it shows the clear advantages of teaching children about money management. Therefore, while most of the young people do not know how to manage their money when they begin working, they encounter financial problems and realize learning how to manage money from a very young age is very important. Throughout the paper, there are strong sources which strengthen the credibility of the paper and appeals to the ethos as well as building the argument.
Consequently, learning money management can help children establish correct concept of fortune and principle of behavior. Though learning, children know money doesn't come easily, and spend money on appropriate place. Batty explains that " teaching younger children has the added benefits of beginning with a blank slate rather than trying to correct negative habits or misconceptions already acquired or observed" (72). Therefore, this reveals the benefits of learning from a young age because children are a blank slate and easily internalize new information without having contradictory ideas hence they form a correct financial concept. According to Drever, children can acquire and process financial information through "executive function", and "executive function develops rapidly during the first five years of life," (16). We can see that executive function is important for learning financial knowledge and set up correct financial view, and most of its development and shaping are in childhood. Taking this one step further, executive function is a determining factor for good financial performance in the future.
Why do we regard executive function as a necessary part for children and how can it specifically, positively impact the formation of children's financial concept? Drever offers reasons that "executive function has three subcomponents: inhibition, work memory, and cognitive flexibility" (16). These three components perform their roles and interact with each other on acquire financial knowledge efficiently and establish correct view of financial. The first one is Inhibition, which "manage behaviors in the face of internal and external distractions" and save money (17), for example, the great number of children always say "I want this", "I want the toy now" and something like that, they don't know the concept of money and they cannot control themselves from desires and temptations. It is observed that through learning inhibition, children can develop the view of "delay gratification"- "is critical to attaining financial goals such as accumulating savings" (17). This shows children enhance their self-control and are aware that they should take responsibility for their future property and plans. Additionally, there is cognitive flexibility, which trains children to think about a problem from multi-aspect, and try to solve those using different ways. It is very useful when children try to make their financial plans and decisions. Children can think more comprehensive, and the possibility of solving problems is greatly improved. Moreover, children can choose the most suitable plan for themselves by comparing different approaches. There is a saying that consider the past, and you shall know the future, and that is how the working memory works. Children can gain knowledge and skills from previous financial experience. Drever emphasizes that "as young begin to learn how to manage resources effectively, plan ahead, and make informed financial decisions – all of which will support financial well- being later on- they rely heavily on their earlier experience"(26). From here, the experience plays a crucial role on every aspects of financial life in children's future and affect them whether become a person with strong financial well- being. Through remembering and reflecting on the past, children can set up a view of look before you leap, and deal with proficiently when meet a new financial situation.
Besides concept of fortune, skills and attitude are equally important in children's financial management. Children learn to manage money has positive affect on having good financial skills and forming health financial attitude. In the source, Drever ind...
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