Marriage in the Modern Era

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Marriage in the Modern Era
The pressure to keep in line with tradition is perhaps the biggest challenge that individuals face in marriage today. Everyone comes from a certain cultural background, which has certain value and belief systems. Societal expectations on individuals revolve around observing the society's cultural beliefs, customs, and values. In many traditional societies, particularly Asian and Middle Eastern societies, marriage was considered a sacred and an important stage in life. As a result, the community and one's family played a key role in ensuring that individuals who had reached the marrying settled down and started their own families. This is evident from the prevalence of arranged marriages, even in the civilized West such as Britain. However, the modern society has witnessed a big shift in social standards among the younger generation. The influences of globalization, interracial interactions, advocacy for human rights, liberalization of the family unit, as well as formal education, have transformed the way individuals and society view marriage and its relevance in the life of individuals. Consequently, individuals are no longer under a lot of pressure to conform to societal and family expectations. Not surprisingly, getting divorced, remaining single, or entering into same-sex relationships have become a norm. At the same time, while society has not yet fully embraced same-sex relationships, it has become increasingly tolerant toward this shift in values and social standards in marriage. This essay analyses the state of marriages today and how the choices individuals make reflect the larger beliefs and customs in society.
Dating is one area related to marriage that has experienced radical transformation. Traditionally, couples were introduced by relatives and family friends. In fact, the matchmakers were often one's aunts, known as Aunt Bijis among Muslims. These were the “marriage brokers” who scouted the ideal husband or wife, introduced the parties, and with the help of parents from both sides, carried out negotiations on behalf of the would-be partners. Meanwhile, the person who will marry or get married remained in the background and had little influence on the outcome. However, this custom has changed as the once respected matchmakers “are now being slowly nudged out by a boom in Asian marriage Web sites, chat rooms and personal advertisements” (Alvarez 2003). The idea of one advertising himself or herself to get a marriage partner reflects how modern civilization has influenced social lifestyles and interpersonal interactions. Ours being the digital era, people literally live on the Internet, where they can socialize, get information, and interact with friends and family relatives. The fast-paced nature of life today, also explains the popularity of hurried courtships where potential partners meet briefly before making up their minds (Alvarez 2003). This shift has squeezed Aunt Bijis out of the picture because the Internet promotes a sort of independence in the way people socialize and interact.
These social changes notwithstanding, however, the pressure to marry and raise a family is still strong. Consequently, since there is not aunt or relative to make a quick partner match, individuals, out of the desperation to meet family and societal expectations, turn to online dating sites to get a marriage partner. In this regard, most individuals marry not because they are in love or are very much interested in starting a family, but because they come from a cultural background where marriage and family are highly regarded. This partly explains the social stigma attached to same-sex relationships, chiefly because partners cannot raise a family, at least in the traditional sense (i.e. through procreation). It is not surprising, therefore, that gays and lesbian...