Loving Someone Is Different From Being In Love With Them

Love (Supportive credit)
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Loving someone is different from being “in love” with them
I agree with this statement.The phrases, “being in love” and “loving someone” are two of the most commonly confused and interchanged, though different, aspects, because they express the same emotion, which is love.
Loving and being in love with someone is different because loving someone refers to willingly developing affection and admiration towards a person beyond their flaws and physical appearance. One achieves this by cultivating the need to see the best in people, appreciating and supporting them despite the circumstances in their endeavors. When one loves another, they become two individuals that mutually inspire and motivate each other, by becoming wholly committed. Contrary being in love is an emotionally charged feeling of infatuation and obsession with a person that occurs unintentionally and without one’s consent. An individual who is in love develops feelings and craves to be around the particular individual all the time to achieve extreme happiness and have them light up one’s world.
A couple has to have compatibility, physically, emotionally and intellectually to build a long-term relationship. When one is in love, the feelings tend to obscure these three aspects as only intense feelings matter at the time. However, after an estimated period of six months, when one element is absent, a couple tends to begin falling out of love and eventually the love fades over time. However, when an individual loves another, their feelings towards them are grounded in a way that even in disagreements and fights, the love is always present and continues to exist forever(Gray, 2016).
Self-love is necessary before we can love someone else
I agree that self-love is vital before one can love someone else because having healthy relationships occur among people satisfied with each other, an aspect that arises from individuals whose happiness is pivotal in their lives.
One’s feelings for themselves significantly influence and determine the ability to develop feelings for others. An individual whose thoughts, feelings and confidence in themselves are up high, makes them comfortable in themselves, as well as, allow themselves to love the right people in the right way while they wholly accept the love given. However, research indicates that an individual who does not love themselves foster feelings of insignificance and self-hatred and consider themselves as inferior or unworthy. Thus, when they get into a love relationship, they underrate a lover’s love and develop negative feelings that lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Loving oneself before someone else limits the work the person has to do to make one feel loved. An individual that struggles with self-doubt, low self-esteem and a poor image of themselves proceed with these insecurities into a relationship. Thus, to become happy, contented and feel loved, they develop a need for constant reassuring, validation, and support. Hence, it forces a partner to take up this role, which in time becomes draining and frustrating as it goes beyond the parameters of a relationship between two people. Moreover, since in most instances, it is not enough, the insecurities continue to ravage an individual further straining a relationship.
The God command to his people is to love themselves, so they love others. According to Joyce Meyer, God, in the book of Mark 12:30-31, instructs people to demonstrate three kinds of love, namely, loving God, loving ourselves and loving others. In chapter 31 of the book of Mark, the Bible instructs people to love their neighbors as they love themselves (Joyce Meyer Ministries, 2017). Hence, according to God, one can only give away something that they have for themselves. Consequently, individuals have to love themselves first, so that they can succeed in passing the same kind of love to other people.
Secrets are okay to have, even in a loving relationship
I disagree; secrets are not okay in a loving relationship. In my opinion, whenever one decides to keep a secret from their loved ones, they should first ask themselves how their partner would feel if they found out about it. According to Beth Easterling, a psychologist at the University of Tennessee, an estimated sixty percent of persons in relationships are kept at the minimum one secret from their partners (Whitbourne, 2014). The habit is detrimental to relationships due to various reasons.
First, keeping secrets raises mistrust. Trust is a fundamental virtue in a relationship which, when lost chances of regaining its dwindles. Whenever a person holds a secret in a relationship, it creates doubt in the partner’s mind of whether one has their interests at heart. People associate love with trust and honesty. Henceforth, when one keeps a secret, the partner feels deceived, develops insecurity over the relationship and sees the other person as selfish for only caring for their interests.
Second, the notion that honesty is the best policy should guide one not to keep a secret as honesty makes one feel b...