Different Translation Versions of À La Recherche du Temps Perdu
Compare and contrast two paragraphs or a short chapter (or even a tiny story) from a literary work that has been translated from a language—other than Chinese—into English by two different translators or translation teams. Your essay must analyze two English translations of a work, without consideration for the original language. Write a clear, concise analysis of the two passages. You are required to analyze how the English is used, how English punctuation and sentence structure conventions are used, and how the translator(s)’ word choice (diction) and sentence structure convey specific effects to the reader. You may want to consider some of the following questions:
What does a detailed comparison of the two translations reveal about the way the translator(s) use technical means (punctuation, for example)? What are some of the effective or less effective uses of punctuation?
How do the translators use sentence structure to achieve different effects?
What are some of the ways that the translators’ choices affect the way we read the story or the passage as a whole?
How are descriptions affected by the translators’ choices?
Are the characters represented affected by the translators’ choices?
Is any element of drama emphasized or muted by the choices of the translator(s)?
Writing Analysis of Different Translation Versions of À la recherche du temps perdu
The original text in French is Marcel Proust's À la recherche du temps perdu, and the two versions are Remembrance of Things Past, translated by C.K. Scott Moncrieff, and In Search Of Lost Time by Lydia Davis. There are no major differences in the translated texts, but the translators' choices affect how best they reflect the intended meaning. Later translations such as Davis's work improved the quality of writing, where there is a variation of the sentence structure while reflecting the figurative and stylistic meanings. Diction conveys emotions and captures themes such as involuntary memory while varying the sentence structure keeps the reader's interest without changing the original meaning. Davis's title is a more appropriate rendering.
The translations are similar, but the translators use different diction to capture specific meanings and feelings from the original texts. Moncrieff's version uses better diction than Davis's version, such as in the word Coeur translated to "courage" rather than "heart." Thus, Moncrieff's translation captures emotions such as being courageous enough. The translated works are cohesive, but the differences in style of expression and action mean that Moncrieff's translation conveys the intended meaning and context better than Davis. Moncrieff also considers the connotative and denotative meaning, but sometimes the literal translation means the translation sounds off. The choice between translated words then requires considering the context and the intended meaning in the original text.
Translators choose some of the words based on their understanding of how parts of speech such as verbs would be used in English compared to the original French text version. There are different versions of the opening line by different translators, and Moncrieff wrote, "FOR A LONG time I used to go to bed early," and Davis wrote, "FOR A LONG TIME, I went to bed early." Going to bed early reflects the same thing, but the difference is translating the verb in the appropriate tense or form. Other minor differences in diction have similar meanings, such as Moncrieff wrote "doing unusual things" while Davis's translation is that there is excitement by "unaccustomed activities.
Davis's translation of the title In Search Of Lost Time by Davis captures the original text's theme on celebrating involuntary memory. On the other hand, Moncrieff's translation Remembrance of Things Past is less effective as it re...