The Advantages of Cohabitation over Marriage

The Advantages of Cohabitation over Marriage
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Institution
The Advantages of Cohabitation over Marriage
One of the major societal changes that have taken place in today's society is the shift from conformity to traditional and cultural values and placing emphasis on the freedom of individuals. This is especially the case in the modern and civilized societies in the developed world, where individuals are expected to lead independent lives. The philosophy of John Stuart Mill in his book On Liberty portrays individuals' conscious awareness of their freedoms and liberties, especially with regards to the pursuit of happiness. In his writings, Mill argues that individuals are free to pursue happiness so long as their doing so does not interfere with the happiness of others (Mill, 2010, p. 81). Relating Mill's views with the subject in question, it is easier to see why cohabitation before marriage has not only become prevalent in western societies, but is also viewed as a necessary stage in the courtship process. Constitutional provisions and peoples' conscious awareness of their liberties and freedoms allow them to choose what is good for them as individuals, rather than what is appropriate in light of societal expectations and traditional values. This essay argues that cohabitation before marriage is better than traditional marriage arrangements such as formalizing the union in a civil court or through a church wedding. This is because cohabitation allows individuals time to know each other better and align their individual expectations of marriage. Moreover, cohabitation provides individuals with an exit option to walk out of the relationship if things do not work out as expected.
The period of cohabitation is the best time to know and understand one's partner better (Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009). During the dating and courtship stages, individuals often try to portray desirable qualities to please their partners. Knowing that the stakes of the relationship are high (marriage), couples can do their best to hide their negative traits and tolerate their partners' undesirable behaviors. Thus, people who are keen on marriage as an end in the relationship as opposed to being a means of establishing a lifetime companionship can deceive their partners by portraying themselves positively. During the courtship phase, partners spend limited time with each other, such as when they go out for dates or the occasional nights they spend together. During this time, it is easy to guard one's behavior and pretend to possess the qualities that people look for in a marriage partner. It is equally easy to overlook or miss some innuendos that hint at an underlying negative trait. In this regard, cohabitation provides individuals the opportunity to test their relationship and see through the pretenses and illusions of courtship (Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009). Spending more time with someone allows one to know them better, understand their strengths and weaknesses, as well as likes and dislikes. Only then can one make an informed decision on whether they are ready to commit for life with the person.
Cohabitation allows couples the opportunity to align their expectations of marriage as a way of avoiding future misunderstandings and disappointments. Cherlin (2004), states that cohabitation allows individuals to avoid the constraints of an institutional relationship, which prevents them from terminating a marriage even when it becomes ...