Amercan mate selection VS Chinese mate selection Essay

Running head: AMERICAN & CHINESE DATING IN 1980S1
American & Chinese Dating in 1980s: Similarities & Differences
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AMERICAN & CHINESE DATING IN 1980S

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American & Chinese Dating in 1980s: Similarities & Differences


I. Background
In love, just as in war, everything is possible. This is a slogan made evident every single day as dating has come define love relationships globally. In contrast to more conventional and arranged ways for dating (and marriage), dating, particularly online, is now global cutting across different geographies, cultures, ages, social backgrounds and much more. The current standards for dating are, compared to standards in earlier decades, much more different and are informed by just as different cultural, social and generational differences. Unsurprisingly, going back in history and reaching out across geographical and/or cultural boundaries yield different perspectives, if not whole worldviews, on dating. For current purposes, dating in U.S. and China in 1980s is of central interest. Specifically, dating “cultures” in U.S. and China during 1980s are compared and contrasted in order to identify similarities and differences informed by cultural, social, political and economic factors.
To put matters into context, a short introduction is necessary on dating in U.S. and China in 1980s prior to delving deeper into similarities and differences in each culture.
In U.S., dating is one defining feature of culture in post-WWII period. The explosion of job opportunities coupled by unprecedented college education for women opened up choices for women to pick a partner. In contrast to a more conventional family introductions for marriage purposes, women started to find much more options for dating beyond inner and narrow family circles and into wider social circles. This shift in dating defined U.S. dating culture in post-WWII period, including 1980s, up until online dating in early 2000s. In essence, men and women post-WWII engaged each other in more “liberal” and “open” relationships, including co-
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habitation, much beyond more “restrictive” and marriage-focused meetings men and women were often forced to to find a suitor in pre-WWII period. Then again, culture is central in understanding why dating (not necessarily leading to marriage) has found such a “quick” acceptance in U.S. and more reluctance, as is discussed shortly, in China. Essentially, U.S. culture is individualistic and, as such, personal freedoms are much more emphasized as opposed to group “rights” and/or loyalties. This aspect in U.S. culture has made possible a dating culture in 1980s China had to grapple with for a while until, very recently, younger generations are embracing a more independent role in choosing a future partner.
In China, dating per se has never existed pre-1980s and was stigmatized and frowned upon. If anything, China, prior to and in 1980s, was still largely an underdeveloped country embracing agrarian values and principles of collectivism, hard work, conservatism, face-saving behaviors and family values. The only “acceptable” reason for a man and a woman to “meet up” (usually in fairly conventional and arranged family settings) is marriage. To depart from family values was, in fact, a departure from fundamental cultural values cherished for millennia. In short, dating in China for a generation coming of age in 1980s, in an American sense, was simply a taboo.
To further understand similarities, differences and, for that matter, influences between
dating cultures in U.S. and China during 1980s a close examination and a deeper analysis of
underlying patterns informing each culture is required. The following sections aim, accordingly,
to offer more insights into dating in U.S. and China in 1980s by identifying similar/different
patterns and cross-cultural influences, if any.
II. Dating in 1980s: U.S vs China
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The choice of 1980s as a departure point to understand similarities and differences between U.S. and China dating cultures is important. From a socioeconomic perspective, 1980 was, in fact, a milestone in China's history. If anything, 1980 was when China's famous one-child policy was introduced (Goa, 2015). Marking a new phase in China's “miraculous” emergence, 1980 also ushered in a new decade, i.e. 1980s, over which what could be perhaps China's last “old generation” dating in China's “old way.” That is, by 1980s, a generation of Chinese born in 1960s and 1950s was under completely different political, economic and cultural influences compared to generations born in 1970s and on, when China stared a serious of radical economic, social and political reforms (Goa). The opening up to foreign countries, under new leadership, was, moreover, an additional important influence contributing to redefining dating in China in 1980s and on.
Traditionally, matchmaking was a generations-old cultural practice in China (“Love on the cloud: The rise of online dating in China,” 2017). In pre-1980s China, men and women, for whom prearranged meetings by family members or close relatives were set up, mt only for one purpose: marriage. The matchmaking arrangements included, for instance, extensive search for a male/female suitor based on purely socioeconomic factors including, most primarily, financial ability and, perhaps most importantly, equal social status – and hence “matching doors and parallel windows,” or méndānghùduì 门当户对 (“Love on the cloud: The rise of online dating in China”). Marriage, not love, at least according to Western understanding, was only why men and women met in China in 1980s. This dating practice, clearly radical departure from dating as is known in U.S. and most Western societies, was aligned to millennia-old conventions and customers in “home-building” and family formation in China. In 1980s, and onward, a series of
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