DQS
Go to Student Papers Library in the left hand Table of Contents frame and click on the link. Next, click on Rhetorical Mode Model Paper Library ( the third choice) http://www(dot)cengage(dot)com/cgi-wadsworth/course_products_wp.pl?fid=M20b&product_isbn_issn=9781428292055&token=6DC244AECD20BE78C748F4D26FF0CE52A010B9259941E20E554E951A707BC335D0171A71E6049C4CCA83F7E6A59E6508 In the dropdown menu at the top, select Comparison and Contrast. Open the final draft of “Parallel States: Israel and Ireland.” As you read through the paper, “focus on some of the writer’s strengths as well as some constructive advice on how to improve the style and content.” 1) what do you notice that works well in this essay; and, 2) what improvement is still needed? The Revision Worksheet on pg. 245 of your textbook is a helpful guide for forming your suggestions. Use examples from the essay to illustrate what you are suggesting should be added, altered, or removed. Also, is there an area in this essay where an analogy (pp. 245-248 in Wyrick text) would be particularly effective?
Compare and Contrast
Name:
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Compare and Contrast
The author very logically presents the information in the comparative essay. It makes an easy read as the readers can follow through the development of the comparison and draw the parallels in the visual minds. From the introduction, the reader is made to understand the two subjects draw a similarity that is also parallel in the sense that they do not necessary share the same aspects by example, but rather parallel. Aspects such as population indicate that the two have small populations but also have far reaching implications that the larger countries such as USA and UK. While they may have been colonised by the western giants, they both have dual identities, such that they have the religious and democratic tendencies in their systems of governance (Cengage Brain, n.d.).
The essay also uses a good balance of the transitional devices such that, it does not create the split-essay problem.
The ideas are also presented in a manner that does not create the seesaw effect, such that for every comparison and contrast there is a point for each. As such, the comparison of the two states is balanced without any state having more point than the other. The tone used by the writer is also very convincing, such that the readers are convinced of the truths about the parallel aspects of the two states.
However, it is also crucial to note that the writer did not include a thesis statement that is elaborate enough. While the statement at the start of the paper is summarized in a manner that would imply the context of the content, it is not indicative of the same. The statement, ‘Parallel state: Israel and Ireland’ is more of a heading that a thesis statement.
It is crucial to note that the essay also refers to the religious beliefs of the two nations indicating that, the religious leaders victimize their citizens and force them to believe. This section calls for an analogy to bring ...