Identifying Strengths and Weaknesses of Speeches

Please answer the following question: total 275words.

1. What is the biggest strength of Sample #1?

2. What is the biggest weakness of Sample #1?

3. What is the biggest strength of Sample #2?

4. What is the biggest weakness of Sample #2?

5. Assign each speech a final grade: What speech do you think is more rhetorically effective and why? Please support your final grades with evidence and reasoning (not just your personal opinion).

Student Sample 1:

Hello, class of 2023! You are about to graduate, how do you feel? Are you ready for what is going to happen in the future? When I was in the fourth grade I joined the band program, but only had three choices for an instrument. Those three choices were: the clarinet, flute, and saxophone. At the time, all I thought about was how I could be Squidward from the show Spongebob Squarepants; I chose the clarinet. Putting the thought that I could be Squidward aside, I wanted to become very skilled at the clarinet. After school, my mom would always see me come home with my clarinet to practice making sounds and trying to build a foundation for playing. However, someone told me: “You do not choose the instrument, the instrument chooses you.” This saying applied to me as a sixth-grader in middle school perfectly. In middle school, I had quite a few friends‒ one being an eighth-grader named Robert‒ in the band program like me. Keep in mind that I was a sixth-grader with a friend who was in eighth grade (meaning that I instantly wanted to be like him). Once we got to choose our instruments, I remember Robert telling me how he was going to choose the trombone because it has no keys so it would be easier. Me being a sixth-grader, I agreed 100% and I chose the trombone too. A few days later, I did not want to stop playing the trombone because I fell in love with that instrument. From that point on I realized that all I wanted to do was get my trombone playing to a very high skill level. I even made it a point to take it home every day after school to practice. Now you are probably wondering a number of things: why is that story important, when is this speech over, is water wet... When I first played clarinet I was so set on the fact that I will eventually become amazing at it, but at the same time, I did not know what else there was until I found the trombone. This same idea happens to some people in college without even seeing it coming. When my dad went to UCLA, he was majoring in business with the thought that he would open a business in the future and make a large profit off of it which is not bad. A few days later, he decided to switch one of his classes to psychology, and after the first day of that class, he switched his major to psychology. I remember him telling me how when he first walked in the classroom, he saw all of the students and one homeless guy in the center of the room. All of the other students wanted to avoid the random homeless guy who was sitting in the lecture hall. He even said it went to the extent to where if he moved one chair over, the other students would move one chair over. Once it was time for the lecture to start, the homeless man walked up to the area where the professor goes to teach; he took off his hoodie and he introduced himself as the professor. Everyone was shocked once they realized the “homeless” man was the professor, and he even began explaining what went through everyone’s head to cause them to want to avoid the “homeless man”. My dad was so mentally set on the idea of going through school and opening a business that he did not see or expect anything else to happen to him. Now, his job is just to do motivational presentations for people to teach them how to be leaders. Now I don’t know about you, but teaching people how to be leaders through motivation sounds way different than opening a business and becoming successful. There is a chance that our future can change even if we don’t think it will. It happened to me, it happened to my dad and it probably happened to some of you. Once we embrace whatever is supposed to change our life (like me finding trombone) then that is when we just go with the flow. Some can agree with that statement but others can’t because they already know what their future looks like. Going into high school, I came from a school system that was not as good as the one in Rancho Cucamonga. When my freshman year started, my parents enrolled me in honors math and English (I was not ready for that). I was also in the band program at the time. Since my grades in those classes did not meet my parent’s standards, they constantly threatened to take me out of band (which was my passion). Whenever they saw that I had a C in one of those classes, they told me that if they see it again then they are going to take me out of band. Every single time I heard that threat it always was the worst thing to hear from them because they were threatening to take away one of my main sources of happiness. I was never able to get higher than a C grade in both of those classes. I thought for sure that my music career was over— “I would have to become a dentist or something” I thought. However, when my parents saw those C’s again, they told me the same thing but did not take me out of the band program which confused me. Since I only thought about how I was going to have a future in music, those threats to end my future in music somewhat stopped me unexpectedly. During that period of time, it was mainly me just not letting those threats get into my head (which is why I think is the real reason why my parents did not take me out of the band program.) If I just went with the flow and allowed them to do whatever they want to change my life, then I would have probably been a computer science major in college or something. I would have had some kind of career that pays very well because that is all my parents really cared about at the time.

When we were little, most of our parents taught us that making a plan is good for the future. They also said that it’s good to make a plan so you know what to do and what to go off of. Having a plan makes you more comfortable because it gives you a sense of safety from random problems that can come out of nowhere. Although making a plan can serve as a guideline, you should not rely on it because that can still change at any time; Even if you don’t expect it. You do not have to avoid making a life plan for certain things you did not expect to come up out of nowhere. One perfect example of what I mean is when I first chose clarinet, I basically made a plan for me to become really good at it. Suddenly, the trombone came into my life which changed everything for me and made me focus on trombone mainly. Even with my plan that I was using as a guide for me to know where to go, it did not matter because it still ended up changing altogether. So maybe all of my stories were the most boring thing you have ever heard. Maybe you just want to leave. Maybe you stopped caring to listen awhile ago but remember these three main things. When you find out what you want to do with your life (like right now) that is all that is in your mind and the idea of change is completely gone even if you try to think of it differently. The second thing is that there is a chance that our future can change drastically even if we do not think it will. For all we know, someone here is probably graduating as an economics major but will suddenly become a lawyer at some point in the future. The last thing—the most important thing is to remember to accept the fact that your future can change unexpectedly. In other words, once we try this other thing that is not what we plan to do and we find ourselves enjoying it to a great extent; then we go with it because that is when we found out what makes us happy.

Student Sample 2:

Fellow administrators, faculty and Class of 2023 graduates. Right now you are filled withan endless amount of emotions. For some of you, you cannot simply wait until I am done speaking to you so you can get out of here and for others I might actually have your attention. However, many of you are proud that you made it through your four (or maybe five if you're a stem major) of college. Parents and Students, think back to the very first day you stepped foot on this campus. For Students, you were so excited you were finally going to have freedom. However, when it was time for your parents to leave you realised you were no longer going to have your personal chef and you had to really live on your own. On the other hand for parents, since the day your son or daughter accepted their admission your heart broke with the thought of your son or daughter leaving the nest. Now graduates think about where you are in life right now, think about all the adventures, clubs and friends you made here. How much have you grown throughout your journey here at UCI? No matter how big or small the amount is, you grew into an individual with qualities you will forever hold on to. Parents, although four years must've felt like a lifetime, the benefits your son or daughter will receive from this degree will hold on to them forever. Now, UCI Class of 2023 let's take it all the way back to the start of our college journey. For our admission pool we had a record breaking 117,000 applications, we were the #1 Best value public university in the U.S according to Forbes magazine, and the #1 Best Public College according to Money Magazine --No shade UCLA--. However while in the midst of college admissions in spring 2019 we were enraged by college admission scandals which Im sure we can agree that it wasn't the first time someone paid their way into a university. It saddened us that our hard work was simply overshadowed by the size of ones check book. Although, Irvine has become your second home you must remember where you started. How have the issues of your hometown, family and friends changed throughout your time at UC Irvine? Have those situations remained the same? If you have no clue on how the situations are now, you're part of the problem. Many times people leave their hometown thinking that violence, injustices and other issues will solve themselves however its known that these problems just worsen as time goes on. As a generation, we have witnessed a countless amount of injustices. For example, in 2019 where immigrants in our country were treated as animals and left in cages. Police brutality among our African American community or the white nationalist terrorist problem in which our politicians seem to choose money over children. Time and time again we send our condolences to the victims but the truth is we need actions. By actions I mean the ones that we as a generation need to act to create change. We cannot continue to be bystanders we've been our whole lives because it will be an everlasting cycle. We need to be the generation to add more people of color to our congress and other elite positions making choices for our future. We cannot continue to let our allies lives be taken by white supremacists. We cannot be conformed with the way our criminal justice system is set up. Together as a generation and graduating class of 2023 we are the last bit of hope for our future generations to come. We must fight against the system and our world as a whole. It's evident that our country doesn't seem to be going forward and instead it's going backward. When putting children in cages isn't seen as dehumanizing or consistently stereotyping a certain race other than white that people of color are culprits. There's a problem. Considering that year after year UC Irvine seems to have about half of first generation students its clear that many of us have experienced some type of discrimination or felt simply less in any way or form. The reference I’m making here is that you came to college for a reason. Whether it was to provide your family a better life you must also care for our future generations. Although we had a leader, also known as, Donald Trump who created a division in our country. We cannot continue to let his hate get into our heads. We are witnessing the future of our history books in which it's not something to be proud about because in the future the actions our country is taking now well be seen as barbaric. Perhaps you may not be focused on these type of issues and instead focused on how were going to save our planet in a matter of months. Whether you support out current leaders or not it's safe to say we all believe there is a change that needs to be done: as future engineers, doctors, nurses, lawyers or FBI agents or whatever your future career is, use that power of a title to create change. We as a generation can be so powerful to create a big wave of change on our Earth. It's been far too many years that we have been brainwashed to be content with where we are now. But I challenge you to be that small difference in the world. Now, you may be asking “what exactly do I have to do?”. The answer is simple. It's as simple as voting in the next election, picking up trash on the ground (for my Earth people) and advocating for issues in your hometown. Although some of these steps may be simple, as a group the change that can be created is tremendous. If the person next to you fell asleep, give them a little shake for me! Were almost done, well at least for my part. But seriously Class of 2023, how are you feeling? What about all the parents in the crowd? Haha, although I’m just another speaker in your graduation I’m here to tell you that you are special, however that doesn't mean that you don't have to go above and beyond to keep succeeding in this world. There will be other individuals who have many of the same characteristics you portray. I'm telling you this because I remember as a freshman I had an interview for an internship I really wanted. After my interview, I heard back from them only to read I had been rejected. My first interview where I was rejected for something I really wanted. The day went on and I couldn't stop but to think I wasn't good enough. It was then I realized it wasn’t that I sucked it was the fact that there were many other individuals who were just as great as me but unfortunately they stood out in something I didn't. What I’m saying is that although I stood out to them I simply was not what they were looking for. In the real world we will compete against our co-workers and essentially everyone around us. Although, you now have a degree and you feel it will give you a sense of security for everything in life you will still face many challenges in life just as any other person will too. If there's anything I want you to remember from this speech is how will you be a part of change? On your way back home with your family friends etc. reflect on the time you spent here. Look at the beautiful sunset as you think about what your next steps in life will be. Overall, never forget the individuals you crossed paths with because they shaped you into the person you are today.

Class of 2023, make sure that at the end of this ceremony you hug your family and friends and celebrate that you are not just another drop out statistic. You are an incredible individual! Congratulations UCI Class of 2023！