Why You Do The Things You Do

WHY YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO
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(06, November, 2010)
Why You Do the Things You Do
Introduction
The reviewed book is titled "Why You Do the Things You Do: The Secret to Healthy Relationships" written by Clinton, T. & Sibcy, G. published in 2006 by Integrity Publishers. A personal life episode that is connected to the content of the book is brought forth and explained. The last section is my critique of the article, bringing to light issue that I agreement or disagreement with. How I will apply the ideas from the book to foster and enrich my life is also briefly discussed.
Summary
The book is transformational, in which Clinton and Sibcy bring forward various issues concerning human relation and actions after doing a thorough and ground breaking research that helps us relate to fellow humans in better ways. Similarly, the book brings forth some concepts that can help us learn how to show affection as well as being shown the same love even better than ever. The authors broke their ideas via the following titles; the heart of the matter, shaping our view of ourselves and those we hold dear, soul wounds, equipped to face challenges and take risks, the hardened heart, don`t abandon me!, God and you, taming emotional storms, love, sex and marriage, parenting secure kids and breaking free.
It is noted from the onset that relationships are part and parcel of human life. On the same note the most cherished and warm relationship or association that we have is with God, one`s kids, partner (husband or wife) and parents (Clinton & Sibcy, 2006). From creation, an intimate relationship between man and God was implanted. When human associated with God is cut, which begun when Adam and eve disobedient Him, then man seek other ways to occupy their ‘empty hearts` with such activities such as shopping.
A strong heart relationship between a kid and a parent begins when the former is born. One`s parents usually determine if their relationship is secure for their kids. It is brought forth that the association we harbor greatly influences most of our decision as well as of those living or associating with us. For instance, they will impact on the manner with which an individual will handle such issues as marriage, grief, perceptions about others, parenting among others.
Noting that a mother`s relationship with her kid is paramount in the way the kid will hold a view of him/herself in future; it is thus of a lot of significance if a mother despite the challenges facing them in this world work hard to mold her kid`s life on a daily basis. Since human children are directly and completely dependant on their mothers for survival, an early relationship that is well developed and nurtured helps in shaping the chemical sequences in the minds of the kids which in turn dictates how feelings and desires are controlled. The relationship is thus important in development of physical, mentally and spiritually healthy kids (Clinton & Sibcy, 2006).
Additionally, the authors talked much about marital relationship and discusses in details the various ways that those in such a relationship should get worry about-bad arguments. It also talks of good arguments in the relationship. When the bad kid of arguments are thus realized and avoided or constructed towards being good argument, then it help marital relationships to stay longer, which is the will of God.
Similarly, the book brings forth the idea of each individual seeing themselves in an accepted manner, this they argue that it will help such person feel free and indeed accepted by those they are relating with in whatever manner and this goes in line with the saying that whatever a man thinketh, so he is. The book brings a lot of insight to how individual carryout self examination, helping them understand themselves as well as those surrounding them hence fostering a relationship of trust and understanding (Clinton & Sibcy, 2006). It is by knowing others and oneself that we can adequately know how to love others and at the same time being loved and appreciated even more.
When it comes to the relationship between parents and kids, the authors said that when parent react positively and in a good way towards the negative feelings of their kids, this goes an extra mile in making them better person who will also hold such positive view on various issues relating to their life in future.
The book also touches on the relationship between man and God. It explains the attachment disorders that happen when one is still young and is t...